Making Friends, By John Murphy, Age 10

I make friends all the time. But I am in a military community and my friends have to move away a lot because their parents are in the military. Sometimes I have friends that can stay for awhile, but they eventually have to go. Having friends in a military community is interesting sometimes because everyone is from a different place. You can learn about many places because your friends tell you. Sometimes making friends is hard because everyone is moving around. The people who I want to be friends with usually move very quickly and I cannot be friends with them. I still have many friends that probably will not move for a long time, but I also have friends that have to leave soon. I make new friends everywhere on the island in parks, school, and other places. I also make friends with Japanese kids on the island. I make many friends at school because there are many kids there. Making friends is fun. You can play more if you have more friends.

Sometimes having your friends move can be tough. I have had many friends move and it was hard to say good-bye. One good thing about having friends in a military community is that many new people come, so I can make many new friends. I have many friends that have left, but they may come back. I will be very happy when they come back. Once I had a friend that left and I did not even know! It made me very sad when I found out. I made a friend once and we were friends since kindergarten and we are still friends now.

Another time, I had a friend and we were friends for less than a month before he had to move. I also had other friends that stayed here for a short time before leaving and friends that may stay here for a long time. One of the best parts about living in a military community is that you make many new friends even if they do not stay here for a very long time.

If you have a lot of friends, you will not be bored all the time because you will have a lot of friends to play with. Okinawa is the perfect place to make friends because there are so many places to play. You can play in the parks, school, and other places.

Sometimes making friends is hard because you do not know if everyone will be friends with you. But most of the time, it is easy because everyone is friendly. Most people that come here stay for two or three years, so I can be friends with them for a while before they have to leave. I wish they did not have to leave because I would be sad if they did leave.

The friends I have are very good friends. Having friends leave is a bad part about living in a military community. It is very hard to say good-bye because you may never see that person again. I have had friends that have left and I will probably never see again. I also have friends that will stay here for a very long time. So I may get many new friends, but my old friends may have to leave. Right now I have a lot of friends and most of them will not leave soon. I do not know when they will leave, but I am sure it is not soon. Now, not too many of my friends are leaving the island.

I am still very sad about a lot of my friends leaving to different parts of the world, but I am happy that I can make new friends all the time. I have made many new friends this year. I have also lost a couple of friends this year. I made the most friends in first grade because it was a new school and a lot of other people were new, too. In second grade, I make a couple of friends because a lot of people in that school were not new to that school and I did not know anybody. Making friends in a military community can be hard or easy, but overall it is easy and fun even if some of your friends have to leave sometimes.

Living in a Military Family – Making Friends, By Tajiana Beard, Age 11

It was the end of the 2008 calendar and the middle of the school year. I was in a new community and felt scared walking into my new class. I knew nobody and had no friends. I kept telling myself not to be scared and that it will be okay. As the day went on, I made more friends and I wasn’t nervous anymore. I ended up having a nice teacher and great friends. I might have had a great school, but I just didn’t feel safe at home. I liked the house, but for some reason, at night time I just couldn’t sleep. I think it’s because I didn’t feel safe. I was just so used to my old house and my old room. For a while, I hardly slept at all. Sometimes I would just sleep on the couch.

Living in a new house wasn’t the worst challenge. The hardest thing was getting to know the people in my neighborhood. At first, everyone was staring at me and I could hear people giggle at me when I walked by. Now, I have lots of friends. I actually made friends really fast, but I was just so scared. I usually am not shy, but I didn’t know anybody. I started playing outside a lot and made lots of friends. I was still the new girl at school and everybody stared at me. I wanted to move back to my old school where everybody knew me.

This year, I had a new girl in my class. She was really quiet and I knew she felt like I had last year, so I started to talk to her. Her name is Payton, and now she’s one of my friends. When I met her, I knew I wasn’t the only one who has been the new girl who knew nobody.

Right now, everything’s fine with me. For example, I have lots of friends. However, when I move again, all of this is going to start all over. I do love moving, but I hate leaving my school because I usually leave in the middle of the school year. I totally hate the thought of leaving my friends because I will miss them so much. There is one thing that is good about moving. The good thing for me is getting to see all the different cultures because they’re so cool and different and unique. Right now, I live in Japan and I love it. It is so beautiful, especially the seawall, because the waves are so cool. I love swimming in the ocean because it feels so good. The hiking trails are so beautiful, too, because of the awesome view. This is the first country out of the United States that I have ever lived in and that I have ever even visited. It’s kind of weird that it’s the only country that I have been to because I am in a military family.


I love it in Japan, but I miss my family and friends back home so much. I still talk to my friends in Texas and my family in Nebraska almost every day. I either email them or I call them on my Vonage phone (that I love). They always ask me when I am coming back to Texas and I always have to tell them “not for a very long time.” It was really hard on me to leave all of my friends behind. I have lots of friends here, but I will always remember my friends in Texas and they will always have a special place in my heart and mind. When I move away from Okinawa, I will make sure to stay in touch with my friends because I want to remember them just like I remember my friends from Texas.

When I first moved here, the only place I really found to make friends was at the Kadena Youth Center. Most people were really nice there and I always had fun. I joined clubs and helped the community by picking up trash and by doing lots of different other things. Almost everyday after school, I would walk to the Youth Center with my friends and sometimes we would stop by the Non-Commissioned Officers’ Club on the way and get a snack. I really love going to the Youth Center because I could have fun and hang out with my friends. It was also great because my mom couldn’t pick me up after school, so I had somewhere to go and I didn’t have to be home alone.

Being in a Military family can be really hard, but when you have friends, it makes it way better. If I didn’t have friends, I don’t know what I would do. I am going to have to leave my friends, but I know that when I move again, there will be new people there, and most of all, there will be new friends and a chance to make many new memories.

Military Friends: An Awesome Idea, By Casey Naillon, Age 13

Friends are an interesting topic to talk about. Moving with them is even more interesting. When you are moving, and knowing your friends will be there, it is exciting. It creates a feeling of happiness to know that there is someone you know to help you with the difficulty of being in a new place. Being around new people and adapting to new friends is what old friends help you cope with, and your friend will help you make friends, assuming they already have some. All the troubles of being a new kid and making new friends are what I will talk about in this essay.
The first problem with friends is losing them. Friends are like family, and losing family is a heartbreaking experience. The thought of losing them is enough to make you cry and beg to not leave, or threaten to handcuff your friend to you so they have to come with you. Actually, leaving them will make you hate your parents and just makes you feel miserable. There is a way to feel better though. Keep in touch by email or writing letters. Do activities to take your mind off them. Or just make some new friends. Any way you choose to do it, your heart will slowly heal if you allow it.


The hard part of friends is making them. If your personality is not to the standards of certain people, your options will be limited. You must be able to pick certain people that you can trust and will not pull you down. They must be able to appreciate your strengths and weaknesses, and be able to accept your personality, no matter what it is like. For example, you might be crazy or smart. Other people might criticize you for being with certain people because of the way they act and what they wear, but you learn to stand up for who you hang out with, no matter what anybody says.

Even with good friendships comes trouble. Fights over who should stay and who should go. Arguments over what you are wearing and who you like are everyday things. It’s what makes us humans, but there is a way to lessen the fights. If people are mad at you, find a way to make it up, like apologizing or getting them something, if it’s someone special. Tell your friends that certain things don’t have to mess up your friendship, like clothing or boyfriends. If that doesn’t work, those aren’t the right friends for you so go find another one.

Having friends in the military has its perks. One thing is that you can learn different things about where people have gone. Like you have a friend that has lived in Canada, so they can tell you all the customs and ideas they have if you’re moving there. When you have friends in the military, you can meet new people. If you meet someone and they have a different background, you could have an easier time being friends with them because they are different and special.

Friends can have a friendly influence on all your actions. For example, if you have good friends, they will lead you away from all drugs and keep you safe because they care and their parents have taught them what is right and what is wrong. Also, having friends can affect your grades. They affect your grades by tutoring you in different subjects, even though you think you know it. Having military friends is a bit different though. When you have military friends, you can learn different military ideas and thoughts of others being in the military just by having good military friends. Of course, all good things have some bad points.

All friends have different influences on you. A not so nice one is negative. A negative influence by your friends is peer pressure to do something that will cause you bodily harm. Take smoking for example. A bad friend will want to cause you harm by persuading you to smoke, or under-age drink. Military friends can also act like that. Don’t listen to them. Those people aren’t bad, just misinformed.

Some friend points are good, others are bad. That’s life, but you can help make friendships stronger. Stand up to those unfriendly people and offer to be their friend, and say you’ll be there when they need someone to talk to. Military friends are easy to talk to because they have experience with what you are going through and are understanding. That’s what friends do for each other. They are honest with each other and listen. All these points about friends, like moving with friends, losing friends, making friends, troubles with friends, perks of military friends, and positives and negative influences is what makes all military kids glad that they are in military families and get to be awesome military friends.

April is the Month of the Military Child - Hear from Shaquille O'Neal about his Military Childhood

In Shaq’s Words


Military Kids Speak: Your stepfather was in the Army. Who else was in your family growing up?

Shaq: My mom, one brother and four sisters. I was in the middle.


Military Kids Speak: Where did you live growing up?

Shaq: We lived in New Jersey, Georgia, West Germany, and Texas.


Military Kids Speak: Which place was your favorite and why?

Shaq: Wildflecken, West Germany, was my favorite. I liked adapting to the German culture, especially the food. There was a place called “The Shack” that served bratwurst, bread, and French fries that were my favorite things to eat. I worked mowing lawns or doing whatever I could to get five dollars so I could go to “The Shack” and eat bratwurst, bread, and French fries.

Military Kids Speak: Was it easy making new friends when you moved to a new place? If yes, what did you do that made it go well?

Shaq: Yes. It was hard for me to leave my friends each time we moved. It would be easier to maintain friendships now with technology like Facebook. We used to write letters to each other. But two guys writing to each other wasn’t cool, so that never lasted very long.

Military Kids Speak: How did you feel about the military lifestyle—deploying, relocating, making friends?

Shaq: It was fun. We got to move every four years. It prepared me for my professional basketball career.


Military Kids Speak: How do you think being a military kid built your character?

Shaq: It taught me discipline, honor, respect, and responsibility. It taught me how to deal with all kinds of people. I met my stepfather when I was two years old, and left home at age 18. Those were the most influential 16 years of my life. My stepfather raised me to be a man with a drill sergeant lifestyle. I am the military. I owe everything to my military upbringing. It made me the man and the athlete I am today.

Military Kids Speak: By what motto do you live that relates to or might inspire other military kids?

Shaq: Be leaders and not followers. Follow your dreams. Work hard. I practiced in the parks in Texas all the time, even in 110-degree temperatures and in the rain. I used to get dogged out by other kids for being so tall and not playing basketball well. I had a choice. I could have given up, but I chose to work harder. It built my character.

Military Kids Speak: What was the hardest challenge you had as a military kid and how did you handle it?

Shaq: I can’t think of any big challenges. I got a job at McDonald’s when I was young. My dad gave me the choice of babysitting for my younger brother and sisters or getting a job. Our mom had a job to help make ends meet. Even though I worked at McDonald’s, I still helped take care of my brother and sisters, being responsible for them and protecting them from bullies. I helped with chores like cleaning the house and cutting the grass, too.


Military Kids Speak: What did you learn as a military child that helped you become a superstar athlete?

Shaq: I learned how to be humble. Here’s a true story. When I was in high school, I was the first guy ever to get his name in the newspaper for a basketball game. I acted like I was God. Then, as I walked down the halls in school, everyone moved to the other side of the hall. When I sat down at a table to eat lunch, everyone moved away from me. I finally asked my friend what was going on. He said, “You’re too good for us now. But just remember. You can’t pass the ball to yourself, and you can’t make those big plays alone.”

Military Kids Speak: If you could tell military kids just one thing what would it be?

Shaq: Enjoy the experience. Take advantage of all of the opportunities you have being in a military family. Enjoy learning to deal with all kinds of people from every religion, race, and culture. All of the activities kept me out of trouble.

Read more from Shaquille O’Neal in Military Kids Speak. Essays by military kids and interviews with celebrity military kids like Shaquille O’Neal can be found in Military Kids Speak, http://www.MilitaryKidsSpeak.com. Proceeds from sales of Military Kids Speak go to programs for military kids.

My Life as a Military Kid, By Kaylee Holland, Age 12

My life as a military kid has been difficult. Ever since I can remember, our family has been moving around the world. One of the hardest difficulties has been making new friends at a new base. My cousins live in Hastings, Nebraska, and have since they were three years old. They don't have the same challenges as a military kid does at meeting new friends.

Although it has been a hard life, it has been an adventurous life as well. Here are some of the experiences I have been through as a military kid. When I was a baby about two years old, my parents and I were stationed in Korea. While we were there, I was a model for Elle magazine and I made the cover of the magazine. My cousins will never have that opportunity of modeling in Korea. That is just one opportunity that military kids have.

Now let me take you on some of my experiences at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota. My other cousins also lived in South Dakota, so they had the opportunity to go to the same school since their mom is in the military. Avery, the youngest of the cousins, was in the same grade as me, so she was in my preschool classroom. We lived in South Dakota for four years. While I was in South Dakota, I met a girl named Maddie Sinks. She is still one of my good friends today. From that I have learned that when I move from base to base, I am able to keep in contact with all of my good friends.

Our next journey is to a wonderful place called Whiteman Air Force Base Missouri. Missouri has been my most favorite base I have been to, since that was where my brother and I were born. We lived in Missouri for almost six years. While we were there we found out that my dad had to deploy to Iraq. Our family was devastated because we were not going to see him for about four months. Imagine having one of your family members not there to tuck you in at night or to be there to help you out of your problems that the other parent does not understand. It is the worst feeling a military kid could have. While he was away, my mom and I talked to him on the phone and on the webcam, but it was not the same as talking to him one on one. Before my dad left, we found out that my mom was pregnant with a baby boy. We were all excited, especially me, because I was an only child for nine years. Four months later, my mom and I went to get my dad from the airport. That was the best feeling knowing that my dad was home safe and sound. Thank goodness that he wasn't hurt or injured. On account of my dad's deployment, I am more responsible because I had to take care of my mom. I had to make sure she had healthy food and that she got enough exercise.

Not too long after my dad got back from Iraq, we got orders to Sigonella, Italy. I will never forget the day that all of the movers came to pack up all our stuff. We were all nervous and sad to leave all of our family and friends and move across the world. It took us two days when we missed our plane and lost our entire luggage in Chicago. Then finally, we got to Italy. When I first got to Italy, it was very different culture. I came from homemade fried chicken to pizza and pastas. When I got here, it was the summer of 2009. I tried to get involved in some activities here so I could meet some friends before school started in September. When school finally started, I was nervous because I only knew about seven people. Being a military kid is very difficult sometimes, but it has its advantages too, like not very many people get to say they have lived in Italy. All of my life I have lived on a base surrounded by a fence and a lot of gate guards. When my dad retires, I will no longer be a military kid, but I can say I once was a military kid that lived all around the world.

About Kaylee Holland

Kaylee Holland was born in Warrensburg, Missouri, on a Saturday. She is currently living in Sigonella, Italy and her father is in the United States Air Force. Kaylee has moved all around the world her whole life. She has two wonderful parents that love her dearly. She also has a cute baby brother who is two years old. She was an only child for nine years, but is now thankful to have a brother.

Kaylee is twelve years old and in the sixth grade. She has lived in Italy for seven months, but can't wait to move back to the USA. Kaylee has great friends and will be sad to leave them in three years. She is a very strong Christian and serves the Lord with all her heart. She goes to youth group every Wednesday night and learns more about His word.

Kaylee has always been tall for her age. That has helped her in sports and in other activities. Some of her favorite things to do are hanging out with her family, reading good books, and running track. Kaylee won her first track meet at the age of seven. She continued to be in the yearly track meets where she took first in every event that she competed in. She is praying that someday she will be in the track Olympics and win many gold metals.

My Rollercoaster Ride, By Junavy Frianeza, Age 11

My life as a military child so far has been complicated, but at the same time rewarding. When I go to new places and new schools, I always have to adjust and make new friends. I have to learn new things that might be hard or easy for me.

Whenever I move into a new place, I start to feel shy. Being in new classrooms always makes me nervous. Coming to a new school can mean that I don't know what to expect. After a while, though, I'm not “the new kid” and I get used to my new school. I start to “blend in” and I can become myself. Sharing jokes with my classmates starts to become easier. It can be challenging, but in the end I start to like where I am.

Moving around all over the world can be hard, and I have to sacrifice a lot to move to another place. But some advantages to being a military child are that I learn how to adjust to different environments and make new friends. As I go all around the world, I can experience what it's like to be in different places. I've lived in Japan, Europe, and Washington State. Moving and getting used to these different cultures has been painstaking. Coming to a new place usually means learning a new language, getting used to different kinds of weather, and tasting new foods. After a while, it can be fun to live in different places because I get to discover and learn new things.

Some kids from the States might not have learned and experienced as much as I have. Adjusting to new places, fitting into a new school and dealing with being the “new girl” are things that I have learned. I have probably been to many more places than any “normal” person in the States. As a little girl, I have been to Tokyo Disneyland a couple of times. Now, in Italy, I have seen the ancient ruins in Rome.

Part of being in a military family is learning how to sacrifice things that are important to you. A few of the many things I have experienced that are hard for me are leaving friends and places I love. Even from when I was just a little kid, I can still remember the friends I have had. Although it is hard moving around, I still talk and visit some friends from when I was only three years old. I have met friends that like to joke around, friends that understand my problems, and friends that cheer me up in their own, extraordinary ways.

As a military child, I have taught myself to be independent and help myself reach my goals. There have been many situations when I failed, but that never stopped me from trying again. I have the support of my family and friends to help me and they have always encouraged me in everything I do.

My life as a military child is like a rollercoaster. If I'm feeling really sad, my rollercoaster is spiraling downward. But when I'm really happy, my “rollercoaster” of a life is flying upward and I feel like nothing can bring me down.

Because of my experience of adjusting and moving around, I know that I'm probably more mature than other people in the U.S. because I have learned to deal with all the obstacles so far in my life. My life has come with its drawbacks, successes, failures, and achievements. I have been taught to deal with all of those things, and I know that is what makes me a true military child.



About Junavy Frianeza

How could you describe this military girl? You would start with the fact that Junavy Frianeza has a creative mind. She likes to sit in her room and listen to music depending on her mood. Junavy might listen to rock music, pop music, or even country music if she wants to.

Reading is one of Junavy's favorite things to do. This bookworm reads from all kinds of genres whether it be fantasy, adventure, science fiction, even nonfiction, which she tends to stay away from. Her favorite books of all time, so far, would have to be the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, which she has re-read a couple times. This imaginative girl can sometimes be spotted inventing her own random story.

She has lived in Japan, Washington State, and currently lives in Sigonella, Italy. Junavy goes to school at Sigonella MS/HS as a seventh grader and likes hanging out with her friends. She also likes ... chocolate! When Junavy grows up, she plans to make a difference in the world, like her dad, and be in the Navy.

Military Child, By Beatrice Greeson, Age 12

As a military child, I believe I have a broader perspective than most children my age. Here in Europe, I've been to many places including Paris, Rome, London, and Venice. I've had experiences that many other kids won't have for a while or might never have; such as seeing Da Vinci's Mona Lisa in person or applying the Italian learned in school and using it the next day in the boisterous food markets to buy fish, bread, and fruit. There are many benefits to being a Navy kid, and some of these benefits are that we are all very close and our experiences prepare us to be successful in the world. Being a military child is hard sometimes, but it has made me a better person.

Naturally, I'm an introvert. I'm usually only my talkative self when I'm around people I know really well. At the Naval base in Sicily, Italy—where I live now—one third of the population moves per year. This means I meet loads of people. It makes me have to work really hard at being more outgoing. Ever since second grade, I have wanted to be a political leader of some kind. Being outgoing is definitely a trait that a politician—or leader of any kind—should have. I try to be a leader in as many ways as I can; at school, in swim team, and during church. I think this helps prepare me to be a leader because as a leader, whether you are the President of the United States or a Red Cross volunteer, you will probably have to go outside of your comfort zone.

Take former Secretary of State Madeline Albright as an example. She learned how to hold onto herself even when she was uncomfortable. That is a very important quality in a leader. Leaders should not be phony, but themselves, or as much as themselves they can be in public.

Being in a military community brings people closer together. I had a friend who was sick and in the hospital. Of course, her best friends and family were concerned, but people who she had talked to all of twice would come up and make sure she was okay and give her flowers. This proves that living on a base is like living with your whole extended family. They all care about you, and especially overseas in Sigonella, where there aren't that many people, they all know you, at least by sight. When I was in Kindergarten and first grade, and my dad was deployed to Iraq, my teachers were really supportive and knew how I was feeling. When my friend's dad was deployed, the base gave their family a packet with things like vouchers to the bowling alley in it.

If you compare me to the average American kid, I have a huge advantage as a Navy dependent. I have so many benefits. Military children are much more outgoing, because we have to move every couple of years, and always meet new people. This prepares us for the outside world. Also, we have strong ties with our peers. People in the military are very close because we have all been in similar situations to each other. There are only a couple of hard aspects, such as facing people with stereotypes against us. My message is this: being a military child is hard, but it is definitely worth it.

About Beatrice Greeson

Beatrice Greeson is currently living at Naval Air Station Sigonella in Sicily with her mother, father, brother and two hateful cats, Tinkerbell and Stella. She loves to read and swim, preferably at the same time. This avid reader devours just about anything she can get her eyes on. Beatrice spends too much time swimming for the base swim team, which competes all over Europe. She has traveled to many different countries and cities in Europe. Her favorite location across the pond is London, England, where she has been spotted exploring everything from cool vintage shops to plays at the Bard's Theater. Beatrice loves fresh white bread and potatoes of any kind (baked, mashed, sweet with marshmallows). Her favorite color is teal, especially when it is accented with gold. Reluctantly playing the clarinet for the past two years, Beatrice would kill to play the oboe. This petite military chick can be found in her cluttered room singing or writing stories and poems for an anthology of her writings she plans to publish.