How to Deal With the Special Challenges of Military Families

By Tina Kehoe

When a family member is deployed for duty, the family dynamic at home is altered. Children, parents, wives and husbands left at home scramble to keep a semi-normal life. Added stress is placed upon the family members since they have to take on more responsibilities at home, work and school.
If you aren't careful, all the added stress and pressure could blow up in your face leaving you less productive and possibly even sadder because you start to focus on the missing family member, wondering if he or she will be coming back.
Dealing with the special challenges of military family life is hard, but a necessity.

Be OK With the Move

Moving frequently comes with the territory of military families. It's a way of life and you won't get anywhere if you constantly complain about having to pack up and move every few years. You might find it difficult to form strong friendships or become active in your community because you feel like, "Well, what's the point? We'll be leaving soon anyway." That's not a good attitude to have. It's the friendships you make and the relationships you form that keep you grounded and preoccupied from the struggles of military life.

Volunteer Your Time

Keep your thumbs busy and volunteer your time making care packages to sent to troops overseas. Ed Young, pastor of the church in Grapevine, Texas hosted a decorated U.S. Marine and dedicated the event in his honor. Young's Fellowship Church recently hosted an event entitled "A Weekend of Honor" in which members of the community came together to put together care packages together to send to the troops and also served members of the Armed Forces and their families dinner.

Do Not Focus All Your Attention to News Stories

You will drive yourself nuts if you constantly watch local news stories or keep an eye on CNN 24/7. Whatever you do, don't spend hours combing through news articles or listen to news stories thinking it's happening where your loved one is located. I'm not saying cut news out of your life all together, but be mindful and watch in moderation.

Meet Other Military Families

Who better to understand your situation than other military families? If you have close friends who don't have a loved one deployed, they can only try to understand the situation you're in and will often times question why you can't just live a normal life and not worry about the things you can't control.
Search the Internet for discussion boards or join a military Facebook page and talk to other families going through the same thing you are. You will be surprised at how relaxed you feel after talking to someone who understands what you're going through.

Get Your Family to Try Something New

Start doing a family recipe of the week or have a fun family game night during the weekends. The best way to stay positive is to keep everyone happy and not dwell on the "what if." Get the kids to join a new after school club and while you have some spare time, take up a new craft or hobby.

Remember: You Signed Up for This

Even if they weren't in the military while you got married, discussions have come up and you knew it could have been a possibility. It takes a very strong person willing to deal with the trials and struggles when having a loved one away, so just remember you're stronger than you think.

Tina Kehoe

Tina is a stay-at-home mom of three wonderful kids. She shares her tips and adventures with readers and loves reading their feedback.

Military Kids...They Serve, Too

This moving video reminded me that our service members are volunteers. We military spouses are volunteers. And the children, we draft them at birth.

Military Wives, War, and Growing Up

This video touched me today...watching the children grow up through each war deployment. Jackie was three years old during Desert Storm. She was 17 during her dad's last deployment to Iraq. Now she is a military wife herself! Where does the time go??

Dogs Welcoming Home Their Military Family Members

Man's best friend reuniting with military family members home from deployments. Isn't there someone you know who needs a little puppy love to lift their spirits today? Pass it on!

Check out this edition of Public Report with Eric Brown. Author Julie Rahm provides a voice for military kids just in time for Memorial Day!

Military Kids and Deployments.mp4

Moving, By Emily Parrott, Age 11

Being a military child is unique and has its advantages and disadvantages. We get to have special identification cards at age ten while most non-military have to wait until they are older. We know more about the world than most and can adapt to new situations easily. While most kids usually never set foot outside of their hometowns, we travel all over. But with traveling, comes another experience. That experience is moving. That is what I am going to talk about in this essay.

There are quite a few negative things about moving. But it is part of being a military kid. It is hard to look at it that way, though, when you are actually moving. Sure, you are going somewhere beyond your wildest dreams (or nightmares), but you are leaving friends and possibly family. It is really hard to leave the community that you have worked so hard to fit into. It is a highly frightening experience. "You will make friends when we get there," your parents say, as though you are just walking down the street to visit a family. "It is an adventure!" they declare, "and whether you like it or not we are going!" Yes, moving can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but it isn't going to change anything if you whine.

Though there are lots of bad things about moving, there are also lots of good things about moving too! It is usually fun to move to exotic places. If you happen to move back, you already have friends!

Also, have you ever heard the song that goes "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold?" Well, that song is true. You can still keep in touch with old friends. And new friends are always out there! In school, in the neighborhood, and at activities, new friends are everywhere, waiting for you to discover. If you put yourself forward, anything is possible!

Personally, I have moved five times in the last eleven years. All of those moves have been really helpful to me. For example, moving has taught me how to easily cope with changes like switching houses and making new friends.

The experiences that military kids have give us advantages that don't seem like advantages to non-military kids, like flexibility. Flexibility is important to learn as a child because it helps you cope as an adult. I have learned to love moving because it is something I do every two or three years. For instance, when I moved from Maryland to Sicily, Italy, I was excited to move to somewhere exotic. Plus, I kept in touch with my old friends until I found new ones.

Moving, as I mentioned before, is part of being in the military. It is fun sometimes, but the ups and downs are tremendous. I write this essay in hopes that it will help other kids in the military. I personally think moving is exciting after all the boxes are gone. It quickly becomes a piece of cake and a stroll down Easy Lane with a picnic basket full of fun in your hand.

Though the military is tough, it is part of your life. Just think of all the advantages you have over other kids! You have everything better off than them. You can use your vast knowledge to help! When it all comes down to it, the military life is the choice I would choose to have as a kid. You get to see new places and other new things! The military life lives through thick and thin. So go and get those new experiences!

About Emily Parrott - at the time she wrote this essay...
Emily K. Parrott is a sixth grader at Sigonella Middle/High School. She has won all of the honor awards for grades offered and has won a poetry contest for her work, The Symphony of Words. She is very active and swims all week. Other times, after swimming, she does karate. Currently she is a white belt. She is living in Sicily, Italy. She loves her two dogs and “pet” brother. Her mom and dad are very loving, too. She enjoys roller-skating a lot. Her school activity is violin. She also plays guitar. She really loves origami. That is Emily P.